I have been challenged to tell my story of how I became a christian.
I was born to loving parents who started me out in the Presbyterian church. I was asking questions about God at a very young age, 5 or 6. probably because my father died when I was 3, and the idea of flowers we gave for his memorial/ Christmas/Easter was pretty confusing for me. why is God a man? was probably the mildest question I asked.i was never yelled at for asking questions. church and school were havens for me, i went to kindergarten at that church and later was in the choir. yes, i was naive, protected, My grandfather and step grandmother died while i was still very young , Mom worked once we were both in school. we took vacations to visit relatives... my grandma Faith always visited for my birthday, and even if we went swimming or whatever, we went to church first I guess many Americans lived that way in the 60's.she and my mother used to visit spiritualists both had lost their husbands, after all. my best friend was Catholic and so I did spend time going to mass, our mothers were very close. we did holidays together Diane and I always had to do the dishes! I loved God, I wondered if He existed in every parallel universe ok so I was a strange kid. I grew up a bit more. and I was allowed total freedom to explore religion and intellectual pursuits. i went to the synagogue with my church group I went to my friend;s Mormon church, I went to baptist churches Lutheran churches, and once i was in band, i met friends who were Pentacostal. well, that was a different stripe of things altogether, and when they suggested I wasn't saved, i was appalled. when they said people go to hell if they aren't saved, i was appalled. no one ever told me any of this before and prophecy? sheesh. but i agreed after doing the reading in the bible they suggested, and I believed. I was 15. and then the trouble started youthful hormones, my mother;s new marriage. a move . adrift and alone, sure i had committed blasphemy against the Holy Spirit. taken communion wrong or something ( it is to deny Jesus Christ, and that;s it but i was 60 before I understood that) i had one foot in the world and one still with God, I went to church, gravitating more and more to the Baptist church as I grew into my 20's/and I grew something else, a baby . this was 1978 there wasn't much support for an unwed mother. but somehow we got through My child saved my life I didn't know the words for such things then, but depression was a constant companion. anxiety, failure. I got married, not to my child's father, and then life blew up again 11 years later. and the crimes committed, were such a level of hell i was broken. still had to provide for my daughter and one day i stopped the car on the way to work, and said, I'm not much use to you right now God. ( pleasant way to say I'm angry right?)I walked away for 5 years, i studied the standard works on evil,( why Bad Things Happen to Good People for example). evil hurts more than just the victim. and after a bout with possible ovarian cancer, healing, new age crystals ( I always had a rock collection.. a shell collection nature has always been my .. thing) led to a gypsy life, so to speak. And when I met Bruce, and knew that God still loved me and wanted the best for me, i found myself standing up and saying but I'm a christian and this is all wrong .your ways arent from God. I do not resent my time or money spent with so many different people, because I learned. I learned a lot. Bruce and I were committed to getting married ( yes we lived together, I still had a foot in the world...) and while I taught healing classes, and researched the basics for all of it. I finally, when Jackson was born, I seemed to sit up and say.. is that You , Lord? and He took me back. I have wasted most of my life . but God still loves me . I am a failure in every way, but surely the Holy Spirit is still guiding me and teaching me, and as I catch hold of sanctification ( at the age of 63!) I mostly am astounded at how God took care of me through all of this, His goodness and mercy have truly been the hallmarks of my life. so that;s it. Life without God is truly meaningless. our Salvation comes from our King and Savior, Jesus Christ . the Holy Spirit indwells us, and teaches us. truly the comforter don;t wait to at least examine the claims Jesus made. |
Faith and ReasonA grandma's perspective on a few things.. Archives
May 2020
Categories<a href="http://www.ontoplist.com/" target="_blank"><img src="http://www.ontoplist.com/images/ontoplist50.png?id=553a2c21e7ccf" alt="Blog Directory & Business Pages - OnToplist.com" border="0"></a>
|